Originally published January 15, 2014 at 12:00a.m., updated January 15, 2014 at 12:00a.m.
Hi. Since this is the first time you have heard from me, let me introduce myself.
Name: Grayson, known as Cat for short. Occupation: Full-time cat.
I am one of two who live in a house in Omak. The other is a big brute of 16 pounds as compared to my nine and a half. We have one human between us.
And make no mistake, she does not have two cats: We have her. You don’t own a cat as you would a dog. We assigned ourselves our own food dishes, although each of us checks up on the other dish when the other cat has left.
By and large we are well fed, though we are interested in what she is eating if she turns her back. She seems not to like this. She is not troubled with mice, though the only time we brought her one she only threw it out, showing no sign of appreciation.
Of the two of us, I am the talker. Cougar doesn’t say much until we are boxed up and on the way to the veterinarian’s office, when he bawls all the way. He purrs, which I do very little.
We have a better sense of time than she does, such as in the morning when it is time for our moist food and she is slow in getting out of that place where she sleeps. I don’t jump on her stomach, as Cougar does, but in any case it doesn’t seem to help.
I have noticed, however, that she feeds us before she feeds herself.
They say you can tell if a person has small pets, because she or he will glance down at her or his feet before taking a step. That seems to work here.
We like to play with things, and we have hidden a number of them in doing so. She still is hunting for some things, but we are not saying where they are. Maybe the hunt will be good for her.
My favorite place is up on the back of a big chair. The trouble is that all three of us like it. I’ve been sat upon a couple of times when she didn’t look before she sat down, but so far I have not been hurt. But in these instances, I get up on the back of the chair, which is a comfortable place to be.
Cougar prefers to sprawl out on the floor, successfully blocking passage with her walker. One trouble is that she is bigger than we are and can pick us up and put us where she wants us. Very bad for our dignity.
But there are ways of coping. One can always sit down and bathe, being leisurely and slow about it. And that brings up another subject. There’s a small room in the house where it rains. And – you may not want to believe this – she stands in the rain. Once in a while when one of us gets into that space, it rains suddenly. I’ve always suspected that she has something to do with this, for it means that whichever of us is in there at the time leaves in haste. But I can’t prove it.
Life with a human has its ups and downs, but it’s warm in cold times and dry when it rains (outside, that is), and they do show some affection once in a while. So I’ll stick with her even if she does cuff Cougar when he bites her. Maybe he’ll be more gentle about it, for a gentle nip is a cat’s way of showing affection. I’m gentle enough that I’ve never been cuffed yet.
And so we make it – “Hey! Get down off the table!”
Elizabeth Widel is a columnist for
The Chronicle. This is the 2,870th column in a series. She may be reached at 509-826-1110.